


Australian Rules

by Lamashtar



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Blow Jobs, Football, M/M, Sports, australian rules football, blowjob while watching sports game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-20
Updated: 2015-10-20
Packaged: 2018-04-27 07:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5040145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lamashtar/pseuds/Lamashtar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You know what I need right now? A fluffy fic of Australia being confused by American Football, and America being confused by AFL (Australian Football League). I would prefer them to be in a a relationship but being best mates is fine as well. Bonus points if they cheer for both teams because they don't know any teams."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Australian Rules

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this prompt: http://aphkinkmeme.tumblr.com/post/131419425937/you-know-what-i-need-right-now-a-fluffy-fic-of
> 
> Half filled because no real watching of American football. But I wrote this _just_ so Australia could make a silly joke about American football. Blowjobs are totally fluffy, though.

“The cheating bastards deflated the balls.” America pronounced judgement on the television. The US game was over, but America was still complaining. 

Australia nodded agreeably. Deflating sounded wrong. Maybe. Unless it was good. He had been having trouble following America's rant about American football. And that was bad. Because there was wasn’t enough attention being paid to _him_. He stuck his mouth beside the other country's ear and said, "You know who else's balls should be inflated?" 

America gasped, "Ohmygod. Is it an international thing _too?"_

Australia pouted. "THESE BALLS." He helpfully spread his legs, in a double-handed _~"Behold"~_ gesture, in case, you know, America didn't get it. 

His cousin rolled his eyes. Then America smirked, “I thought we were going to watch one of your games..?” The smirk became wicked as he reached out and flicked at the seam of Australia’s crotch. 

Out among the galactic clouds of the ancient universe, an idea that had come into being at the start of existence itself was traveling. It had passed over billions upon billions of light years in deep space, following a path none could guess the true purpose of, until drifting into a large island on the southern hemisphere of a small blue planet, where it lodged itself. It was finally born then, like dawn breaking across the sky, lighting up the brain of one Australian nation with the sheer possibilities of it. Struck by that ancient epiphany, Australia could only stop to marvel at the genius and wonder whence the mystery had come.

Australia looked upon America with the countenance of one who has been transformed by religious conversion, while America stared with dumbfounded awe. _“I have a plan.”_

***

It was driving America crazy. _They weren't following the rules._ He popped his head up to say so and Australia had given him such an anguished whimper that America didn't have the heart to say anything. But it was STILL wrong. 

“..My field is an oval, rounder than yours, see?” Australia tried to provide proper context for America to appreciate the full experience for the Australian football playing on the television in the background. For America, it was a bizarre mix of football (as his people understood it), volleyball and basketball. "Ah! A-and we have more people in our team.." Australia panted. "But! They-they all start! Ah! Ah! And finish! Together! Oh darl, you're gorgeous..." 

America licked his way up and blew on the rounded tip of Australia's cock, gazing through lowered eyelashes. "So who are we rooting for?" America whispered. 

"Me!" Australia cackled, overcome by his own wit. He was punished when America stopped to glare. 

"Nooo, don't stop now!" Australia wailed. "It's the West Coast Eagles and the Geelong Cats." 

America huffed, "Good! I hope the Eagles win!" Australia sighed happily as America resumed burying his face.

"Oh yeah..Gee-Gee-guh-CATS! CATS! OH BUGGER ME FUCK CATS! ..F-favoured to win, though." At little concerned this would put America off, Australia hurriedly added, "Eagles are a great team, hon." America hmm'ed and Australia's eyes rolled back as the vibration traveled up his spine. It really had been a _very good_ idea. Australia was in a state of bliss. His greatest fantasy involved this very scene--getting a gobby while watching his own national game. Getting to talk uninterrupted about his sport was a bonus. Nothing could ruin this.

Occasionally, America would pop his head up to yell at the screen, "GO EAGLES GO!" Catching glimpses of the screen, after a while, it occurred to America that the Geelong Cats' uniform bore a strong resemblance to old prisoner uniforms at his own place. It was something Australia probably wouldn't appreciate being brought up. The Cats seemed to be winning, which Australia was happy about. A little uncertain in his loyalties, America decided to add, "Um, good for the Cats!"

Australia beamed at him.

Despite being fuzzy on exactly how the teams were faring, America timed the orgasm to the cheering. When Australia closed his eyes during the most exciting moment of the game and shouted "OH GOD" as he came, America chortled to himself. He gave himself one point in his and Australia unending competition of oneupmanship. Australia was only mildly disappointed.

They were relaxing companionably, America in Australia’s lap, once the aftergame had wound down, but Australia was still enthusiastically explaining the differences to note. "And when you score through the outer goal posts, that's a score 'behind'. And my balls are bigger than yours." 

America started up. "Wait, now, what!? No way." 

Australia patted America on the back affectionately, "No worries, mate. Doesn't mean anything." 

" _Or_ we could measure them!" America fumed. _Australia and his continent complex_ , America grumbled internally.

A few minutes later. "MILLIMETERS DOESN'T COUNT." 

**Author's Note:**

> The Deflated Footballs topic is an American football scandal that involves, um, deflating footballs.
> 
> ‘root’ is an Australian sexual euphemism 
> 
> Geelong Cats uniform looks like this: http://s302.photobucket.com/user/mew2515_08/media/GeelongCats2012.jpg.html  
> Old American prison uniform looks like this: http://www.usprisonculture.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/blackandwhiteprison.jpg
> 
> Australian rules footballs are larger than American rules footballs under Imperial standard measurement too, but using millimeters sounds like Australia is artificially inflating the numbers, lol.


End file.
